Nifty, shifty, thrifty...Fifty! Funny 50th birthday sayings, short clean jokes, and funny quotations that’ll help you slide into the fifties with a smile. Congrats!
- Witty 50th Birthday Quotes For Men
- 50th Birthday Greetings For Women
- Funny Quotes 50th Birthday Woman
- Wife 50th Birthday Quotes
The following funny 50th birthday quotes are perfect to remind your friend or loved on why the next 50 years are going to be amazing, and the funny birthday sayings and funny birthday phases below serve to adjust the right outlook on life: You don't stop laughing because you. Filed Under: Birthday, Messages, Quotes, Wishes Tagged With: 50th, 50th birthday, 50th birthday messages, 50th birthday wishes, happy 50th birthday, happy 50th birthday quotes Even though no 1 person could either recall or evaluate all prospective threat elements, following are a few of the most frequent ones discussed in the books.
Turning 50: Funny Sayings, Group 1
The best form of birth control for people over 50: nudity.
Fifty is a powerful age for women. You can set off sprinkler systems with your hot flashes.
By fifty, you’ve figured out that time is a great healer and a not-so-hot beautician.
At 50 years old, life seems shorter. No point in spending it trying to make yourself disappear by dieting.
50 years old: In Led Zeppelin terms, that's halfway up the stairway to heaven.
Turning 50? Laughter is the gift that keeps you in the present.
Funny 50th Birthday Sayings:
What You Can Expect at 50
You’ve got four sizes of clothes in your closet, three of which will never be worn again by you.
You spend more time trimming your nose hair than head hair.
You realize with some irritation that your parents were right about nearly everything.
The street vendor says “Yes, Ma’am” instead of “Sure thing, Gorgeous.’”
You finally get your head together, and your body has other ideas.
Your high school yearbook is moldy enough to support a thriving colony of algae.
When you look in a full-length mirror, you can see your butt from the front.
You're still hot, but only in flashes.
And those hot flashes? Don’t think of them as menopause. Think of them as regular short vacations in the tropics.
At 50 it's more important than ever to eat fruits and vegetables. So:
- In the morning, add an extra stalk of celery to your Bloody Mary.
- At lunch, drop an extra olive in your martini.
- And at dinner, squeeze a little more lime into that Margarita.
Funny 50th Birthday
Sayings, Group 3
I’m aiming by the time I’m fifty to stop being an adolescent.
- Wendy Cope
Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle.
- Bob Hope
Sex is as good at 50 as it was at 20. The only difference is I’m not into all that freakin’ Cirque de Soleil stuff because I’m as flexible as a two-by-four with as much stamina as an emphysema patient on oxygen.
- Janet Periat
After fifty, one ceases to digest. As someone once said, “I just ferment my food now.”
- Henry Green
When I was young, people used to say to me: Wait until you’re fifty, you’ll see. Well, I'm fifty. I haven’t seen anything.
- Eric Satie
Funny 50th Birthday
Sayings, Group 4
For my 50th birthday, my husband and I spent a weekend in Rehoboth Beach. My first choice was 1978, but the time machine was booked.
- Jean Sorensen
Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty. But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out.
- Phyllis Diller
Celebrating 50 is like throwing a party when your odometer reaches 150,000 miles.
- Melanie White
50 is a nice, round number – it pretty much matches my body.
- Melanie White
50 isn’t old – just ask anybody who’s 90.
- Melanie White
50th Birthday Sayings
Group 5
At 50, you’ve entered the stone age: gall, kidney, and bladder.
- Anonymous
50 years old? Look on the bright side. The older you get, the more likely you are to outlive your child support payments.
-Melanie White
50 years old means no more wearing speedos on the beach. This is a rule.
- Greg Tamblyn
Just remember, when you're over the hill, you begin to pick up speed.
- Charles M. Schulz
I rented a bounce house for my adults-only 50th birthday and had a blast jumping in the stupid thing. I kept expecting the Age Police to show up and ticket me.
- Janet Periat
The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.
- Lucille Ball
50th Birthday Sayings: Group 6
Middle age occurs when you are too young to take up golf and too old to rush the net.
- Franklin P. Jones
Who said there were no such things as miracles? You made it to 50, didn’t you?
- Melanie White
You know you’re 50 when the only silver lining you can see is on your head.
- Melanie White
When you’re 50, don’t worry about turning gray. Just be glad you have hair.
- Melanie White
At 50, when you sneeze, “water under the bridge” has a completely different meaning.
- Melanie White
50th Birthday Party
A 50 year old woman’s birthday wish was to lose all her excess weight.
In one huge breath, she blew out the all candles on her cake.
Suddenly - POOF - her husband vanished.
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Inside: 50th Birthday Quotes to Make the Day Special.
Turning 50 is a big deal. In older days it meant you were beginning the twilight of your life. But these days, people have so much energy, ability to travel and time that turning 50 is a gift to be cherished. These 50th Birthday Quotes are designed to help you cherish those you love with a bit of humor and fun.
PURCHASE OUR CUSTOM PACK OF 5 PRINTED 50th BIRTHDAY QUOTES HERE.
We might joke about being old, but we are so proud of the people that we are celebrating. So grab a quote, or make one your own – but celebrate well those that are turning 50!
50th Birthday Quotes to Make the Day Special
1. 50 is five perfect 10s.
2. Look who’s all grown up and ready for regular colonoscopies.
3. 50 is the new “F” word
4. Feel better, “F” “I” “F” “T” “Y” is only 14 is Scrabble.
5. I regret to inform you that your 40s have now expired.
6. Life begins at 50!
7. To be honest, none of really thought you would make it this far…
8. Happy Birthday to the person who makes 50 look like 25!
9. 50, no no no, you don’t look a day over 49.
10. If you haven’t grown up by 50, you don’t have to!
11. Great things happened 50 years ago – Neil Armstrong walked on the moon and you were born.
50th Birthday Quotes – Half a Century Young
12. Not 50 years old, half a century young.
13. Age is simply the number of years the world has enjoyed you.
14. Happy 50th Birthday Babe!
15. “Forty is the old age of youth; fifty the youth of old age.” – Victor Hugo
16. You must be bursting with wisdom at this point.
17. 50 cheers, and 50 beers to 50 years.
18. You know you’re 50 when you’re in an elevator when your favorite song comes on.
19. Fifty never looked so good!
20. Old age is like underwear… it creeps up on you
21. Now you’re 50 and your back goes out more often than you.
Like a good whiskey, age only makes you better and more frisky
22. Like a good whiskey, age only makes you better and more frisky.
23. You make 50 look real, damn, good.
24. Getting old is only bad if it’s something in the Tupperware inside your fridge.
25. Old age is like underwear… it creeps up on you – but not on you of course…
26. So many candles, so little cake.
27. You aren’t old now, you’re just vintage.
Witty 50th Birthday Quotes For Men
28. WTF – Who’s Turing Fifty?
50th Birthday Greetings For Women
29. “Looking fifty is great – if you’re sixty” Joan Rivers
30. Don’t count your candles, just enjoy the glow.
Funny Quotes 50th Birthday Woman
31. Make a Wish! – Happy 50th Birthday!
More Quotes You’ll Love
Wife 50th Birthday Quotes
- Funny 21st Birthday Quotes – Ah, the 21st Birthday. That wonderful time when we thought the world revolved around us and we celebrated like acting like we were indestructible. We commend all the people who are able to remember their 21st birthday and salute those who cannot.
- Goodnight Quote for Him – We’ve curated this amazing list of Good night Quotes for Him so that you can always have the perfect thing to say, text or message back to the person you love, and sometimes miss, the most.
- Law of Attraction Quotes – You have the power and ability to create what you desire. The universe is waiting for you to create all the desires that have been burning in your soul. These Law of Attraction quotes are meant to inspire you with the truth that you have what it takes to make it happen.